On the longest night

The past couple of years have made it clear to me that I am fond of "hunkering" when it gets cold.  Long about November or so, I start making like a bear...getting ready to hibernate.  I would be pretty happy, I think, if I could just order in all winter and hunker down in my house to wait out the cold and dark. 

Monday was the winter solstice.  The sun rose here (by my eye) after seven thirty in the morning, and set around four-ish.  It always amazes me that this day is the turning point, because the months of January and February always SEEM the longest, darkest days to me....they are, however, well on the road back to the light. 

I find myself more reflective in the winter time...and it seems natural.  If you thin about life in general, when things happen they force us to take a good long look at life, it seems as if we are dealing, and dealing and dealing...things get darker and darker and darker, then we hit rock bottom.  Thus begins the long road back or forward to wherever we will wind up.  It parallels the solstice pretty neatly. 

Christmas has been about many things for me in the past.  Getting presents, giving presents.  Trying to get presents on a budget so limited I wasn't sure how things would work out.  Being able to give generously.  Not being able to give at all.  Being with family when I didn't want to be...not being with them when I needed to be.  This year it's all about the hunkering.  I don't want to be out shopping, hustling, bustling; getting all riled up at the marvelously stupid and insensitive people in this world.  Complaining about everything I have to do.  I want to hunker down, with some hot beverage, my Toast and my Hubby.  Watch some movies.  Do a little baking and crafting.  Hang out with my parents and my remarkably hilarious and talented sister on the 25th.  Wrap gifts in secret and listen to carols while I do it.  Sit back and watch my amazing boy and listen to what he has to tell me. 

And after Christmas, I will take the time in the darkest part of the year to think about where I want to be in the future.  What I can do with my life.  I will take time to plan out what I want this year to be like.  I will remember my Tiny Man.  I will probably cry more than once because I miss him so damn much...I do this a lot.  In the winter, though, the time to think is more plentiful.   

Happy Solstice.  Merry Christmas.  Be thankful, be loving, be thoughtful. 

What I'm doing today

IMG_4791
Originally uploaded by randallfam

Making these tiny mitten ornaments for Toast's friends. They are based on a pattern I found on the website "Oliver + S". I modified the pattern slightly, as the original had fabric cuffs...I used felt. I'm smitten with them.

Let's be clear here...

...the following post in no way reflects things I feel MUST be done in order for Christmas to occur.  It reflects things I WANT to do.  I like making things for the holidays, and Toast's birthday (next week), and I have some wonderful plans...but it doesn't change the fact that things are starting to pile up on me.  Witness my to-do list:
1.  I have two knitting projects left for gifts.  One is half done, the other not started.  Both will only take a few hours to finish. 
2.  I'm making favors for Toast's birthday celebrations/gifts for his buddies...and they are cute.  But I"m making TEN of them.  I'll be posting a picture soon of what I"m making.  I think it's safe to say his friends dont' read the blog.
3.  Banner for Toast's birthday celebrations.  It's half done.  I'm cutting parts out on the Cricut, which means I can't do it during naptime, unless I move the whole operation out of the craftroom and downstairs.  That makes it a little interesting...crafting with an awake two year old.
4.  Cupcakes for Sunday/Tuesday (birthday)
5.  Small homemade gifties for our friends (mine and Hubby's).  Hubby will help with this.  Chocolate is a component, which makes the shopping tricky.  Can't buy the chocolate until I'm ready to bake, or it will be eaten.  I'm just being honest here.
6.  Christmas cards.  They're made, printed, just need to be addressed and sent.  I'm sure that I CAN print labels for the envelopes, but figuring it out will be harder than just writing them, right?  Maybe Hubby can do this.  And then there's all the addresses that arent' in the computer and must be added....the address thing is the reason I hate Christmas cards.  HATE. 
7.  And when all this is done...when next week is over...we can put up the decorations and relax. 

I love how some people think handmade holidays are so much simpler....away from the hustle and bustle, the malls.  Lies, I tell you, all lies. 

Thanksgiving Twenty

I read this on a blog this morning, and it seemed like a good way to get my blog post in today.  The turkey is on and cooking, and we're finishing up the cleaning.  Happy gobble, everyone. 

Do you cook all or part of the meal?

Depends on the year, this one's mine.  I cook half the meal, and everyone brings something. 

 

How much do you spend buying groceries for the meal?

Usually it matters to me what we spend in a week on Groceries.  For Thanksgiving, I don't care.

 

Do you eat at home or go to someone else's?

Every year or two we switch off with my Mother in Law.....She had two years in a row though, so this is my second year in a row.

 

Describe your perfect bite?
STUFFING.  Oh Lord I love stuffing.

White meat or dark?
dark

Stuffing with giblets or without?

Without

 

Anything you won't eat at the Thanksgiving meal?
Are you kidding me?  No.  I eat everything.  It's the one day of the year I eat everything.

Carve Mr. Gobble at the table or serve on a platter?
Platter

Favorite pie?
Apple! 

Formal table or Chinet?

I always use the china...I love using the china.  And cloth napkins.  And place cards.  I love a formal table.  

 

Your menu?

Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, beans canned from this summer, rolls from Great Harvest Bread company (yum!), salad, maybe brussels sprouts if I remember to make them.  :)  And Pie.  Always pie.  

 

Favorite leftover?
Stuffing!!!!!!!

Extended family, friends, both or just immediate family for dinner?
It depends on the year, but we have both sets of parents and whatever sisters are in town every year, regardless of where we are.  Our families do thanksgiving together.

After dinner, do you go to the latest movie or football on TV?

Movies!

 

Do you watch the Macy's parade?

In Detroit?  Are you kidding me?  No.  We ALWAYS watch the Detroit parade.  :)

 

Christmas decorations up before or after?

I used to do it the day after, but I made a vow when Toast was born that I would NOT let holidays intrude on his birthday; so now we wait until after his Birthday on Dec. 8.

 

Black Friday shopping or sleep in?

HAHAHAHAHA.  I always say I wouldn't be caught dead at a store on Black Friday....but you know what we do?  We go OUTLET SHOPPING!!!!!.  So completely crazy.  Then we go here to buy Toast his ornament and take in the sights.

 

Any special Thanksgiving tradition?

My dad always goes to the Lion's game.  Always.  The first year I did a full Thanksgiving in our first real house, he skipped it....that taught me that people are sometimes more important than tradition.  
That being said, I am really proud to report that every year our turkey is walking on Tuesday and on the table Wednesday.   

 

Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?

I love having all of our family around.....we're all crammed in like sardines at dinner and we have a great time!

 

Favorite Thanksgiving memory?

So many....there isn't one that really sticks out.  I remember marching in the parade one year with my dog and my 4-H club.  My dog chose the middle of Woodward, right in front of the judge's stand to take a dump.  I wished the street would swallow me up.  Good memory?  I love making new traditions at Thanksgiving now that I'm married with kids.  We always celebrated Thanksgiving when I was young, but it wasn't a huge deal in my family the way it is in some.  I like to make our own day. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Handy?

In case you haven't heard, there are a lot of people out there that are taking the Handmade Holidays pledge...that is, they are vowing to make gifts, or support others by purchasing handmade gifts from local crafters, Etsy, and other small businesses that rely on making and selling. I'm not going to be making ALL my holiday gifts this year, but I'm doing quite a few...and I have a few side projects as well. The difference between this year and last year is that I"m actually doing pretty well on checking things off my to-do list....instead of furiously working until the last minute and crossing things off because there is NO WAY I'll ever get to them.

Cases in point: hat, mittens for adorable niece: done. Hat, mittens for adorable nephew: done. Hat, mittens for another adorable family member: DONE! (I'm on a roll, I can feel it). December Daily scrapbook: completed and waiting for December (more on this in an upcoming post). Home made lemon vodka: brewing. I still have to make some felt food for Toast (he's getting a kitchen for Christmas and a bunch of felt food to cook in it).

There is still Christmas cooking to be done, which will be a baking and assembling project for our friends....Hubby and I will work on this together in early to mid December. There are holiday cards to make (I'm making them on the computer and sending them to be developed as 4x6 pictures....) that has to be done soon. I hear naptime tomorrow calling that project's number. There are treat bags for Toast's birthday festivities. There is the possibility of another knitting project; a hat/mitten/scarf set for another family member...it all depends on time and right now time is good!

I'm not halfway done, but some large and time-consuming projects have taken shape in a way that makes me happy. That counts for a lot!

Maybe that crafty mojo isn't gone after all. :)

Crafty

One thing I found out when Toast was born was how important it is to my well being to MAKE something whenever possible. I'm not saying that every day needs to be a craft bonanza, but I enjoy making things with my hands...knitting, scrapbooking, creating in general. Before Toast I had the third bedroom in our house set up as a craft room, and when he came a long it all got boxed up and set aside. Sure, it was still around, but harder to get to. And with a baby and an almost-two-year-old, there weren't a whole lot of opportunities to get stuff out and be creative. Since losing Tiny Man, I've set up shop again in his room. Having the option to go make something when I want to is very theraputic.

Part of this whole "stuck" thing is that I don't really feel like I have any mojo. I have lots of scrapbook pages that I finished at a recent retreat, and some are still waiting for finishing touches. I want to take pictures and post them. I want to finish up some last pictures, thinking if I just get all "CAUGHT UP" then I will be able to move on and create stuff that has to do with life right now.

All this is just excuse. Saying "I can't do this until I've finished this" is another excuse for me to make for things not being perfect. I've realized over the past few years that I have trouble accepting that things are finished, and yet I'm not comfortable with things in process. If something isn't finished, I rush to make it done. If something is finished, I can't help thinking about all of it's flaws.

I'm sure there's a larger life lesson here, and one can look at it positively or negatively: we are unfinished because we are meant, throughout our lives, to be learning, growing, and "finishing" ourselves off. On the other hand, there are some of us who will never be happy with the way things are, finished or not.

All this to say that in addition to the writing on this blog, I"m trying to get past my "block" by purposefully creating. I'm knitting again....seems that things that have a definite beginning and end satisfy the creating part, and will hopefully help me past the mental block I'm experiencing. Maybe just by creating SOMETHING, anything, it will help.

So the Christmas knitting has begun, and it's going very well....since I have a lot to think about, I knit while I think and everything goes more smoothly. I try to set realistic goals on holiday creativity...I don't want to get bogged down in all the things I have to make and lose the pleasure in making and giving them. I can't show off everything I"m making, but I have almost completed Hat and Mitten sets for my niece and nephew (all done except for one mitten...pictures to come), a pair of mittens for an undisclosed receipient, and I'm beginning a hat and sweater (okay, the sweater is for me, but still). I"m also making some felt food for Toast.

And these !! I think these are SUCH a fun idea....I have plans for this idea...big plans. :)

And since we're at it. I'm looking at designing our own photo Xmas card this year (more on that to follow, also)... What did I just say about trying to keep the level of production down? Yeah, forget that.

Bonus days

Had to share, just because every once in awhile I make something for dinner that is kind of yummy.

Put your corned beef in the crockpot, but instead of putting water to cover, use a beer. Yum. That's tip number one that I learned today. Today I used a Killians, but I think Guiness is the way to go here. Next time, next time.

Tip two? When you put your cabbage in, put a skewer through it to keep the pieces together (I hate when my cabbage falls apart and looks bad...just me). I cut mine into quarters, then I took a small piece out of the "point" of the wedge and stuck the skewer through.

But then. THEN.

When everything was done, I took out the meat and let it rest on a plate, covered in foil. Then I took the cooking juices and put them into my gravy strainer. Using a large frypan, I melted two Tbsp. butter, and whisked in two Tbsp flour (do you know how to make gravy? I just learned about a year ago....it's pretty easy...this is how you do it). Let this cook about a minute, as you whisk, then slowly begin pouring in the "broth" part of the pan drippings...it will clump and look strange KEEP WHISKING....don't pause to think about it. The whisking is key to making sure you don't get lumps. Pouring slowly is also important, because it changes consistency as you cook, and if you proceed with caution you can judge the consistency of your gravy just right. Okay now, this is the magic part right here...pay attention): whisk in a goodly amount of fresh ground black pepper and about 1-2 Tbsp of dijon or stone ground mustard. I used dijon, that's what we had. You now have a creamy mustard sauce that will be YUMMY on your corned beef, potatoes, and cabbage. Serve with lots of carrots and parsnips too. mmmm. I know. You want this for dinner again tomorrow. Me too.

Cheers!

A cautionary tale

Since it's St. Patrick's Day, and since St. Patty is the patron saint of Ireland and all, I thought I would give you a little parable. I'm not sure what St. Patrick did, I think it had something to do with snakes and all. Okay, okay, so sue me. I'm Polish, not Irish. St. Casimir* I know, St. Patrick not so much. But I digress.

Back when I was teaching, I used to try and do a lot of activities in my classroom. Part of it is that I myself am a bit ADD, and sitting makes me stir crazy. I hated to inflict that same torture on my students. Another part of this is that when you are learning, activity is fun and interactive and just better in all ways. So anyway. We're learning about Acids and Bases (I taught High School Chemistry. I'll give you a moment to recover your swoon ...) and a big part of that is indicators....how do we know when something is an acid or a base... Many many plants have pigments in them that act as indicators, one of the better known is red cabbage. So I'm all about boiling a cabbage in my house to make indicator.

The procedure is simple...you boil the cabbage for, oh, awhile. Timing is not important. When you get done, the water is this lovely purple color. You pour the water into a container, and use it on all matters and sorts of things to watch it change color and "indicate" (hence the name) the presence of acidic or basic properties. You can do this at home...it's an easy thing to do and lots of fun.

I get done with the boiling and pouring, and I have this cabbage now. I don't mind cabbage, so I butter and salt a little of it and eat it. But I cannot eat a whole cabbage. You may be able to eat a whole cabbage. You are more of a man than I...and you are someone I don't want to spend a lot of time around post-cabbage, if you get my drift. I had to get rid of this cabbage, and so I put it down the garbage disposal.

Now, I WAS thinking...despite all the evidence to the contrary. I thought to myself "yeah, I know I'm not supposed to put fibrous stuff down the disposal, but this is cooked, so I'm all good, right?" Grind away. I don't know why I didn't just throw it in the garbage. Silly question. Obvious, but silly.

The next morning I awake and the first thought in my head is WHAT IS THAT STENCH? I look over at hubby, make a face, mentally note to have a speak at him later about his diet, grab my bookbag and container of red cabbage juice, and trot off to work. When I get home that day, however, the stench is still there. It is worse, if that is possible. That's when I get the idea to look in the basement.

Coming out of the drain in our basement floor is this amazingly beautiful little fiber sculpture made of cabbage....okay, not quite cabbage, more like what is LEFT of the cabbage. It's a pretty lavender color because the cabbage was once red. The rest of my basement floor is COVERED in some unspeakable black goo which has backed up out of the drain (the sewer drain, that is).

24 Hours and $50 spent on a power snake later, I had learned a valuable lesson. One I am sharing with you now. One that comes back to me every St. Patrick's day when I make Corned Beef and Cabbage dinner. A lesson that we all should hold dear to our hearts and never forget.

Never, NEVER, put cabbage down your garbage disposal. If you feel the urge to learn how to play with dangerous and exciting power tools (see above, re: power snake), rent one and play with it. Do not feel as if you must create a situation which requires said tool in order to justify the rental. Just rent it. You don't need a reason.

*St Casimir is the patron saint of Poland and Lithuania. He refused his father's order to lead an army to overthrow the Hungarian empire, and was imprisoned. He died of consumption and his tomb has been the site of miracles.

**Want to look up your favorite saint? www.catholic.org. I kid you not....

Breathing, again

I looked at the date of my last post and thought "wow"...but in a good way. I can't believe so much time has gone by without posting...but I haven't been a bad blog-mama, I've been a good Coffeemomma by taking care of myself, hubby and Toast. :) You see, we have been going along just fine...taking the days as they come. And the days are getting easier. Then (as some of my pre-christmas posts may indicate), we put up the Christmas tree and it was so hard. I didn't know it was coming...at least not that bad. I didn't realize that our first Christmas without the Tiny man would be full of little landmines and triggers of good memories that would make me sad and purge me of all christmas spirit.

So we went on vacation.

Okay, we didn't go because things were difficult, but as it turned out, the change in scenery was EXACTLY what we needed for this first Christmas without our Tiny man. Hubby's family has been doing the holidays in Florida for years and years, and when our dating became serious, we started alternating...one year in Fla. and one here in Michigan. We missed 2006 because we didn't want to travel that far with Tiny Man, so it has been awhile since we worked on our Christmas tans. It was nice to be away from home, but still be with family. The sunshine did wonders for all of us, especially me. Let it never be said that the winter blues have nothing do to with lack of light...for me, at least, they really do. It was a noticeable difference.

So in a nutshell: We flew there and back, and Toast was great on the plane. I was so happy about that! We did two Disney parks: Epcot (which included the fine tradition of eating our way around the world) and Animal Kingdom (if you haven't gone here because you think it will be lame, really: check it out, it's very cool). We looked for Hidden Mickeys. We did lots of shopping (I LOVE after christmas deals) and swimming, and reading, and playing and walking and relaxing.

So for the new year? Well, I don't make resolutions. They are too easy to break. There's all this pressure to tell people about them, then you feel guilty when you don't keep them up. I never keep them up. Maybe that says something about me. Anyway. I do have a few goals for the new year. One is to do something crafty every day. Crafting makes me happy. I love the knitting, of course, but I really want to do more scrapbooking in the new year. I didn't do a whole lot last year, and I miss it. To that end, I'm trying to take a picture every day and create a weekly spread. I got the idea from the Creating Keepsakes kit "365", which encourages you to scrap every day. I just want to take a picture every day, mostly to document what life is like...not the big events, but everyday life. Someday I will look back on this time and love that I was so fortunate to be able to spend time at home with Toast. I will want to see how he changed over a year. I will want to remember what we did every day. I don't think I will be able to scrapbook every single day. But I want to have a record of what life was really like, not what big events happened in our year. Because you always remember the big stuff!

So I also have a new crafty obsession: embroidery. I know, it's not 1863, get with the program. But have you seen this website? I got one of her kits for christmas, and I'm obsessed with the designs! I'll have pictures later of my first few creations.

So that's it! I'm recovered from the holidays...I've returned home, cleaned up the house a little, dug through all the mail, returned the phone calls, written the thank-yous. I've caught up on the web stuff, the email, loaded up the pictures and posted some to flickr. With this blog post I'm officially not on vacation any more. Now to finish the laundry.

Well, it's December, meaning my month of trying to post every day is over. I didn't make it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't worth my time to try. I think that I did learn a few things...first off, I'm not a post every day kind of person. ( haha ). But really, I think that I would rather post a few words every few days and post about meaningful things rather than try and post something every day, which could easily turn into this: "Toast and I played today. Then we had lunch and a nap. Then Hubby came home and we ate dinner. Then we went to bed after some more playing, TV and knitting". This is not to say that attempting a post every day is a bad thing. It did force me to think about things in a different way...to try and post something that was interesting and not just write about the ordinary. Since starting to keep a blog I really do look at things differently. I think about my day and the things I see in terms of what is noteworthy, what is differet, what is interesting. It is true that every day something happens that is interesting. I also have learned that at the end of the day all I want sometimes is a knitting project and a warm blanket on the couch. I don't want to think about writing on the blog. Also, posting during the day is right out...Toast sees the computer as direct competition, and does not tolerate me taking a few minutes to check Email when I could be playing with him or doing something far more fascinating like trying to clean the house with his help. :) All in all, a valuable experience, I think. One I would definately try again next year.

We are going away for Christmas. I've been looking forward to spending time with the in-laws in a warm climate, but lately I've started to realize that it will be good for more than just a Christmas tan. We put up the tree this weekend and it was really difficult...taking out all of Tiny man's ornaments and putting them up. Seeing his stocking and the projects he made at school last year. Going away this first holiday after he has been gone will be good just for a change of scenery. We will be in a new place making different memories, not surrounded by our last holiday with him. We will still be with family, and I don't think that things will be much easier, but it will be different. I think that different is exactly what we need this year.