You should know that I'm about 29 weeks pregnant. That means that I'm more than halfway through the cook time of this here babe in my belly, and also that any minute the pregnancy is going to start to suck. I'm really quite fond of being pregnant. I mean, I don't want to be pregnant forever, but generally it agrees with me just fine. I like it. I like feeling the baby move, I like seeing my body grow...I feel good...it agrees with me. Until about the very end, then it really makes me miserable. Like most pregnant women, at the very end things get dicey. I'm no longer comfortable. It starts to dawn on me that, eventually, this baby has to be born (and logistically, that's a little frightening). The belly stops being cute and starts inhibiting every. single. movement. I try to make. In short, it starts to suck.
I am well aware that this time is coming.
I didn't think it would happen yet, and I didn't think that it would happen in ways that were different from previous pregnancies, but I may be wrong.
In order to fully understand the following story, you need to also know that I wake up...well...slowly would be an understatement. I'm not a "wakey wakey jump out of bed" kind of person. It takes me a few minutes. I'm generally quite confused upon waking, and I need to get my bearings.
That's why, last night, I was completely certain I had swallowed a bug in my sleep.
I woke up with a burning sensation in the back of my throat, and woke up COMPLETELY PANICKED. Not only had a bug CRAWLED IN MY THROAT, I was really quite certain it was a black bug with neon spots on it. It was also quite poisonous (why else would it burn?). It had crawled in my throat while I was sleeping, and when I tried to swallow my muscles popped it, and it died and that's what made my throat burn.
Did I mention I'm often confused upon waking? And that I have a rather active imagination?
I related this whole story to Hubby, who woke up immediately from a dead sleep upon hearing my panicked gasp. And do you know what he said?
"Or, it's heartburn. Go back to sleep."
Oh, yeah. I"m pregnant. Pregnant ladies sometimes have heartburn at night.
Whew. That's all...just....whew.