One thing I found out when Toast was born was how important it is to my well being to MAKE something whenever possible. I'm not saying that every day needs to be a craft bonanza, but I enjoy making things with my hands...knitting, scrapbooking, creating in general. Before Toast I had the third bedroom in our house set up as a craft room, and when he came a long it all got boxed up and set aside. Sure, it was still around, but harder to get to. And with a baby and an almost-two-year-old, there weren't a whole lot of opportunities to get stuff out and be creative. Since losing Tiny Man, I've set up shop again in his room. Having the option to go make something when I want to is very theraputic.
Part of this whole "stuck" thing is that I don't really feel like I have any mojo. I have lots of scrapbook pages that I finished at a recent retreat, and some are still waiting for finishing touches. I want to take pictures and post them. I want to finish up some last pictures, thinking if I just get all "CAUGHT UP" then I will be able to move on and create stuff that has to do with life right now.
All this is just excuse. Saying "I can't do this until I've finished this" is another excuse for me to make for things not being perfect. I've realized over the past few years that I have trouble accepting that things are finished, and yet I'm not comfortable with things in process. If something isn't finished, I rush to make it done. If something is finished, I can't help thinking about all of it's flaws.
I'm sure there's a larger life lesson here, and one can look at it positively or negatively: we are unfinished because we are meant, throughout our lives, to be learning, growing, and "finishing" ourselves off. On the other hand, there are some of us who will never be happy with the way things are, finished or not.
All this to say that in addition to the writing on this blog, I"m trying to get past my "block" by purposefully creating. I'm knitting again....seems that things that have a definite beginning and end satisfy the creating part, and will hopefully help me past the mental block I'm experiencing. Maybe just by creating SOMETHING, anything, it will help.
So the Christmas knitting has begun, and it's going very well....since I have a lot to think about, I knit while I think and everything goes more smoothly. I try to set realistic goals on holiday creativity...I don't want to get bogged down in all the things I have to make and lose the pleasure in making and giving them. I can't show off everything I"m making, but I have almost completed Hat and Mitten sets for my niece and nephew (all done except for one mitten...pictures to come), a pair of mittens for an undisclosed receipient, and I'm beginning a hat and sweater (okay, the sweater is for me, but still). I"m also making some felt food for Toast.
And these !! I think these are SUCH a fun idea....I have plans for this idea...big plans. :)
And since we're at it. I'm looking at designing our own photo Xmas card this year (more on that to follow, also)... What did I just say about trying to keep the level of production down? Yeah, forget that.