And suddenly the weight of my crafty christmas ideas hits me full force.
I love to make things. I like to knit, journal, scrapbook, cut, glue, doodle, draw. I'm not an artist...in fact I"m a pretty crappy artist. But I love the creative process. Give me a technique, I'll try it. Show me something, chances are I'll come up with a way to make it. I blame my mother, she's always saying "you could make that"...problem is, I also blame her for my downfall: taking on too much...and then not being able to do much.
So this Christmas I have decided to do a lot of crafty things. I have the supplies, I have the "roadmap", if you will, of what I want to do. Two problems: one, I have an-almost-one-year-old son who does not want me to do anything not directly related to him during the day. Problem two is that I"m kind of afraid I'll start all these projects, hate them, and wind up buying presents anyway. I'm a perfectionist that way, and I am horrified by the idea of giving away a hand-made present and seeing the recipient less than thrilled by it. Let's face it, we've all seen crafts gone wrong. Do I want to be that crafter? It's all too much pressure.
But I plow on. The past two christmases I have made knit gifts for people, and I think that what is often said is true: lots of people don't appreciate the handknits. I mean, they LIKED the socks and all...but I wanted to say..."Hey! I knit those!!! On Teeny Tiny needles...out of yarn that looks like thread!" Maybe I'm expecting too much, thinking people will love what I make as much as I love to make it?
See, this is really the thing. I just like to make things. Cover me in glue and paper and I'm a happy girl. It doesn't even have to turn out to be anything, it just makes me content to focus on a task I can do with my hands. It's kind of stressful to not have time to do something creative. I'm a terrible sketch artist, but sometimes I'll just sit down and do it anyway because it makes me feel good to try. Knitting is wonderful meditation. I guess some people like to work with their hands.
Crafting on a deadline is a little stressful. I'm a bit worried I won't finish anything by christmas, or that I will rush and it will look awful. I just need about four extra hours a day I can spend in my craft room. That will solve the problem.