So saturday is my due date. I have been dilating since before thanksgiving, making the past few weeks difficult, at best. BUT...as of yesterday, there is a PLAN in place. A plan which was firmed up today by my doctor. I feel much better with a plan, it is the OCD in me.
The medical part of the plan consists of the following: I am "a good four" cm dilated, so more than four but not five. I am also effacing, but not 100% yet. My doc today stripped my membranes (not something I would like to have done on a regular basis, might I add). For 20-50% of women, this will stimulate labor to begin. If I do not go into labor this weekend, I have an NST and ultrasound scheduled on monday to monitor the baby. NST = non stress test = me sitting in a chair for a half an hour with an external fetal monitor on to track the baby's heartrate and activity in response to any contractions I have. I had so many of these with Ben I am a pro, so no worries there. The Ultrasound will measure fluid levels. Provided nothing is terribly wrong, and I still don't go into labor, I will be induced on Thursday morning. My doc thinks that breaking my water should do the trick, since my cervix is already cooperating.
More importantly, there is a mental health/emotional part of the plan. I wrote out a long rant yesterday about how sick and tired I am of being pregant, and everything that has happened in the past two weeks. Then I Emailed it off and let it go...literally. My focus now is on the baby. Not how pregnant I am, not what will happen...just having a nice healthy and happy baby. The best thing is, this is all working for me. I'm much more relaxed, and letting go and letting it be are really working very well. I plan on continuing this zen state indefinately.
Strangely, I have no anxiety whatsoever about labor and/or delivery. None. I mean, I knew when I got into this that the baby has to come out at some point...so what is the point of dreading it? This helps the "let it be" philosophy nicely. :)
We'll see how it goes over the next few hours/days. I'm going to spend lots of time puttering around the house and bouncing on the Yoga ball, hoping my water will break. :)