Sunday, August 26, 2007


I love costco. I love that I can buy cleaning products to nurture my OCD in very very large packages. I love to walk around and know that I will never need a gallon of powdered coffee creamer, but someone does, and there is a place that provides it. I love that they sell boxes of greeting cards that are cheap and keep me from forgetting to buy a card for someone when their birthday comes up. I love that their milk comes in gallon jugs that are stackable. I love the diapers they sell, because they are cheap and work really really well.

But if I have to deal with one more intersection of four aisles completely blockaded by carts piloted by inconsiderate assholes who are doing nothing other than waiting for a slice of a pecan crusted chicken finger, I swear I will lose every last shred of decency I have and go completely batshit. I don't care that you have all the time in the world to block my progress and that of eight other people. I don't care that you think you are being considerate because you got your fucking chicken finger and now you are steering your cart through the melee, thinking you are getting out of the way when in fact you are MAKING THE PROBLEM WORSE. I came in for a gallon of milk, some eggs, and a greek salad. Get out of my way. I have other asses to kiss today...yours is not on the list. Don't even think of giving me that "we're all in this together" smile, because we are NOT in this together. I don't want the chicken strip, goddammit.

And I'm spent. I'll have to leave my thoughts on the general sociology of the free sample people for later.


purlewe said...

rock on with your bad self! I say they shoudl put all the freebies in a row you can avoid. AND the knitting very very good. love the socks and mitts. You have been a busy bee (even if you do not feel like it) you really have.

Melon said...

That is just so freaking funny. I love the way it started out so serene, with the little bluebird singing and the sun shining, and then, just like that Nationwide commercial, a big ass tree branch crashes on your car roof.