Saturday, May 30, 2009


I'm a week out from the horrible mommy day. Things are back to normal, the way they should be, ups and downs balancing out. Life with a busy 18 month old.

I feel so comforted, so good, reading the comments for the last post. Writing the entry...I just needed to get things out. It doesn't matter how much I know, logically, that it's okay to take a minute for myself...especially when I'm feeling frustrated and still feels strange to write it out. I think we, as mothers (and as teachers/librarians...I'm talking to you Sparkcrafted) are given messages that tell us we are only good and only worthy if we turn ourselves over to our charges. When I think about it, though, the best children I know, the best parents I know, they have individual lives. My parents were really wonderful at parenting, and they always took time for themselves. I saw them reading, having hobbies, enjoying life with me and by themselves. I think we get a lot of messages from society that encourage us to live completely for our children, and I think that is not healthy. It's a fine line, though, and one that's hard to walk. When Toast is having a normal day it's hard to not spend every moment with him, both because he demands it and because it's fun.

Mostly, I think, I am so encouraged by reading comments from moms I admire and care deeply about telling me it's going to be okay. Thanks guys. When it comes down to it, something we have that mothers before us did not is a community of people that is incredibly goes beyond our family and neighbors, and it provides incredible perspective and support. There is a lot out there if one looks for it.

I am fortunate that a week ago thursday is an isolated incident with Toast, and I'm fortunate to have an outlet when these incidents happen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So glad things are better. I agree with you completely that we need to take time for ourselves to be better parents, better people in general. Before we had Gabriel we decided that he would join our lives not become our lives. I think we have done an OK job with this thought, I'll admit not as well as I'd like but OK we're not perfect. We have to let them go a little so they can become the independent self sufficient people we want them to be.